{"id":2166,"date":"2014-05-07T19:30:30","date_gmt":"2014-05-07T19:30:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/?p=2166"},"modified":"2018-12-17T09:21:11","modified_gmt":"2018-12-17T09:21:11","slug":"derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/05\/07\/derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain\/","title":{"rendered":"Derren Brown is a Malevolent Supervillain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-2169\" title=\"Derren Brown, straight out of a gangster film.\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_01-234x300.png\" alt=\"Derren Brown, straight out of a gangster film.\" width=\"275\" height=\"351\" data-wp-pid=\"2169\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_01-234x300.png 234w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_01.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 275px) 100vw, 275px\" \/>I&#8217;m a big admirer of Derren Brown. He&#8217;s managed to convince 99% of people that he&#8217;s simply a stage conjurer who uses a combination of psychology, hypnotism and good old-fashioned misdirection in order to give people a good time. This is in fact a lie, and I know this because I&#8217;m the 1% who long ago figured out that the whole &#8220;modern Houdini of Psychology&#8221; shtick is actually just a front for his real goal, which is to take over the world. Trust me, I&#8217;m a bit of an expert on <a title=\"Villainy on the Blogsplosion\" href=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/category\/villains\/\">villains<\/a>, and <a title=\"I love Bond so much, I decided to take the piss out of him in detail.\" href=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/tag\/james-bond\/\">I&#8217;ve seen every James Bond film<\/a> at least three times if not more. I know what I&#8217;m talking about! By the time you&#8217;ve finished reading this, you&#8217;ll be convinced that there is a man behind the curtain of the big floaty head of Derren Brown<sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/05\/07\/derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain\/#fn-2166-1' id='fnref-2166-1' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2166)'>1<\/a><\/sup>, and that man wants to subjugate humanity to his every whim.<\/p>\n<p>I remember the first time I ever saw him on TV. This crazy-haired man with quite a nice suit on going around and being terribly polite to people while doing really nasty things. <a title=\"It's money for nothing!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=qRgIJJT5fAw\" target=\"_blank\">He went into a dog race and managed to recoup a whole bunch of winnings with a losing ticket<\/a>. As he said in the show, once the lady behind the counter has given you the money, they cannot ask for it back. I wonder if she lost her job? Or how about <a title=\"Now that's how you mug a guy!\" href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymotion.com\/video\/xoqx2q_derren-brown-robs-a-guy_shortfilms\" target=\"_blank\">the poor sod he walked up to and stole the watch, wallet and <em>neck-tie<\/em> off of while bamboozling him with misdirection<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>That was when he was small-time. After that he began experimenting. Anyone remember <a title=\"It's so realistic!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=7NWz3qYl4tE\" target=\"_blank\">the time he trapped a man in a real-world video game<\/a>, scaring the living shite out of them by having hordes of zombies staggering towards him?\u00a0 That was just the tip of the iceberg before he started showing off some real crimes. The man has clearly shown us that he can conduct great acts of infamy that even <a title=\"Three Blokes and a Chick Watch: Goldfinger\" href=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2012\/08\/11\/three-blokes-and-a-chick-watch-goldfinger\/\">Auric Goldfinger<\/a> would be envious of. To name a few:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He <a title=\"Doesn&#039;t even need to do his own dirty work!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=j8QE4cQCK1g\" target=\"_blank\">mentally programmed several people to <em>hold up a security guard<\/em><\/a> and steal a lock-box full of cash using a gun.<\/li>\n<li>He <a title=\"The Manchurian Candidate, eat your heart out.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=owootTAuxic\" target=\"_blank\">mentally programmed a person to assassinate a celebrity<\/a>. Not just any celebrity either, but <em>beloved national icon Stephen Fry!<\/em><\/li>\n<li>He rigged the national lottery so he could <a title=\"Well I was impressed, anyway.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=eHUoQLG7O-o\" target=\"_blank\">predict the results<\/a>, and <em>then <a title=\"Some men just want to watch the world burn.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=pL0QGwmR51k\" target=\"_blank\">told everyone that he&#8217;d rigged the national lottery<\/a><\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>He<a title=\"Arsene Lupin would be proud.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Cb1I7Ld7Cc0\"> orchestrated stealing a painting from a private collection<\/a> and, in true gentleman thief style, <em>announced he would do it beforehand<\/em>.<\/li>\n<li><a title=\"Pretty standard day for Derren Brown, really.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ReUHhStG70k\"><em>Goad a baying mob into wishing horrible tortures on a man until the point of death<\/em><\/a>, and then reveal to the mob that he was in fact showing them how horrible they are by faking the whole thing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Derren Brown clearly enjoys manipulating people to his every whim, and thus far he&#8217;s limited his show-boating to showing off for television and stage. That&#8217;s grand, assuming that we&#8217;re seeing the full extent of his work. Which begs the question: what does he get up to off-screen? What nefarious deeds does the man have planned?<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2170\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 510px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2170 size-full\" title=\"If God were a villain...he'd be me.\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_02.png\" alt=\"Derren Brown looking sinister.\" width=\"500\" height=\"325\" data-wp-pid=\"2170\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_02.png 500w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_02-300x195.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;If God were a villain&#8230;&#8221; Okay, I&#8217;ll be honest, I&#8217;m a bit paranoid about using copyrighted images I&#8217;ve found on Google Image Search so I&#8217;ve put all of them through as many arty filters in my photo manip program that I can get away with. Might as well make the guy look sinister as hell while I&#8217;m doing it!<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Mr. Brown would have us believe, via <a title=\"Yeah, you lull us into that false sense of security, Brown.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=JMeFTRFwEsc\" target=\"_blank\">a series of cleverly orchestrated low-res videos<\/a>, that he&#8217;s a regular person outside of television. <a title=\"It's staged and they're stooges, obviously.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=iF5mW7KEi-c\" target=\"_blank\">A really nice guy who appreciates his fans<\/a> with a <a title=\"Behold as he levitates a common household spider!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HKnvMC99wdw\" target=\"_blank\">great sense of humour<\/a> and <a title=\"Oh! Bryan!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=t1Cc6Bof2_0\" target=\"_blank\">a wicked Stewie from <em>Family Guy<\/em> impression<\/a><sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/05\/07\/derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain\/#fn-2166-2' id='fnref-2166-2' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2166)'>2<\/a><\/sup>. There&#8217;s no white cat in Derren&#8217;s home for him to stroke with evil intent, but he does have a trained parrot. Its name? <a title=\"Ra-ra-rasputin, lover of the Russian queen.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=JMPhtJx4E2w\" target=\"_blank\">Rasputin<\/a>. You know, <a title=\"Here's the history, in case you don't know.\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Rasputin\" target=\"_blank\">the notorious lover and subjugator of the Russian Royal Family<\/a><sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/05\/07\/derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain\/#fn-2166-3' id='fnref-2166-3' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2166)'>3<\/a><\/sup>. That&#8217;s a step away from calling the thing &#8220;Stalin&#8221; or &#8220;Hitler&#8221;. <a title=\"Yes, I&#039;ve even picked apart his so-called &quot;private life&quot; with a fine toothcomb.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=RMkbn6hgkGc\" target=\"_blank\">There doesn&#8217;t appear to be any obvious death-traps around Derren&#8217;s home, but he does have a lot of odd taxidermy and things in jars<\/a>. <a title=\"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=yNeQm5aqrHo\" target=\"_blank\">Buffalo Bill would feel right at home!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Talking about psychopaths, Derren&#8217;s shown the occasional odd maniacal tendencies too, like<a title=\"Derren Brown, creepy clown.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=c7fKZ-aXui0\" target=\"_blank\"> the desire to be a really f*cking creepy Russian clown<\/a> (<a title=\"EVERYTHING FLOATS DOWN HERE\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=OPdDdC4go6c\" target=\"_blank\">Pennywise<\/a> doesn&#8217;t have shit on Brown). Or <a title=\"The &quot;Brown Raja&quot;. I get it. It's funny.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=DJSNjqhjCUg\" target=\"_blank\">lock himself in a tiny box and pretend to be one of those automated fairground mystics<\/a>. Or how about <a title=\"Every man's gotta have a hobby.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Gcnk4QQi_NM\" target=\"_blank\">driving a nail right up his nose using a hammer<\/a>? That&#8217;s a gasser! We&#8217;re not even broaching some of the publicity materials for his shows.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2171\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 610px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2171 size-full\" title=\"Do you want to see a magic trick?\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_03.png\" alt=\"Derren Brown as Dexter, Emperor Ming, the Joker and the Terminator.\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" data-wp-pid=\"2171\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_03.png 600w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_03-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_03-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_03-320x320.png 320w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">Derren would have us believe he&#8217;s some sort of <em>Dexter<\/em>-like serial-killer-come-butcher, Ming the Merciless, the Joker or a clockwork Terminator (possibly a <a title=\"It's a game that merged Terminator, Blade Runner and Invasion of the Bodysnatchers into one. It was awesome.\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hardcoregaming101.net\/snatcher\/snatcher.htm\" target=\"_blank\">Snatcher<\/a> if you dig old video game references). I admit I may have embellished his promotional materials a little bit.<\/div><\/div>\n<p>When he&#8217;s not toying with humanity like an oversized cat with a mouse, Mr. Brown paints and listens to classical music, the cultured sort of taste that&#8217;s the hallmark of a good Bond villain, and even more recently he&#8217;s just decided to say &#8220;f*ck it&#8221; and go full Bond villain by shaving his head.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2172\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 310px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2172 size-full\" title=\"&quot;Mr. Bond, I've been expecting you!&quot;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_04.png\" alt=\"Derren Brown - bald badass.\" width=\"300\" height=\"368\" data-wp-pid=\"2172\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_04.png 300w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_04-244x300.png 244w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/Derren_Brown_04-245x300.png 245w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">All he&#8217;s missing is the scar around his eye and he can go for <a title=\"I for one think Derren could probably trump Donald Pleasance's performance, given the opportunity.\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ernst_Stavro_Blofeld\" target=\"_blank\">the full Blofeld<\/a>. Give it another few television specials, he&#8217;ll get there.<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Every time Derren Brown comes on television, I fear for what his next trick might be, what malevolent scheme he&#8217;ll develop in boredom. He&#8217;s <a title=\"Where the hell is Todmorden?\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=RuRGzZAk7S4\" target=\"_blank\">toyed with entire villages<\/a> and <a title=\"I thought it was unbearably cruel.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=o_CUrMJOxqs\" target=\"_blank\">created a miniature apocalypse to screw with one guy<\/a>, so what&#8217;s next? This man is the <a title=\"TVTropes to the rescue!\" href=\"http:\/\/tvtropes.org\/pmwiki\/pmwiki.php\/Main\/TheChessmaster\" target=\"_blank\">grand chessmaster<\/a> &#8211; he <a title=\"Not quite one night in Bangkok.\" href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymotion.com\/video\/x8a6st_derren-brown-beats-9-chess-players_videogames\" target=\"_blank\">won chess against nine chess masters at once<\/a> by having them play each other. That&#8217;s meta-chess, and the chess players are the pawns.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll say this now, when Derren&#8217;s storm troopers and mind-control slaves take over&#8230;I&#8217;d like to sign up, sir. I like your style, Mr. Brown. You <a title=\"I've read your book! Well, no, I haven't, but I'm sure it's a great read.\" href=\"http:\/\/tvtropes.org\/pmwiki\/pmwiki.php\/Main\/MagnificentBastard\" target=\"_blank\">magnificent bastard<\/a><sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/05\/07\/derren-brown-is-a-malevolent-supervillain\/#fn-2166-4' id='fnref-2166-4' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2166)'>4<\/a><\/sup>.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m a big admirer of Derren Brown. He&#8217;s managed to convince 99% of people that he&#8217;s simply a stage conjurer who uses a combination of psychology, hypnotism and good old-fashioned misdirection in order to give people a good time. This is in fact a lie, and I know this because&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[313,92],"tags":[171,67,172,104],"class_list":["post-2166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-james-bond","category-villains","tag-derren-brown","tag-james-bond","tag-magnificent-bastard","tag-the-joker"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}