{"id":2293,"date":"2014-11-08T14:05:10","date_gmt":"2014-11-08T14:05:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/?p=2293"},"modified":"2016-03-16T15:15:38","modified_gmt":"2016-03-16T15:15:38","slug":"how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Improve the John Lewis Christmas 2014 TV Advert"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So the British public is agog at the latest heart-warming bit of commercial advertising pumped out by John Lewis in a bid to win the war of sales via Christmas cuteness. Have you seen it?<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-caption\" style=\"width: 650px;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iccscUFY860\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>When I first watched this, my heart grew ten sizes that day. Or that might have been the cholesterol from the cheeseburger I was eating at the time.<\/div>\n<p>In case you can&#8217;t watch it because your computer dates back to the stone age<sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/#fn-2293-1' id='fnref-2293-1' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2293)'>1<\/a><\/sup>, here&#8217;s the premise:<\/p>\n<p>In a perfect example of encouraging people to buy exotic pets not suited to human climes<sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/#fn-2293-2' id='fnref-2293-2' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2293)'>2<\/a><\/sup>, it depicts a young boy playing with his adorable pet penguin (apparently called &#8220;Monty&#8221;). This penguin follows the kid everywhere &#8211; it follows him to football, watches TV with him, sleeps on his bed, eats fish fingers out of his hand (which I&#8217;m pretty certain would be bad for a penguin), etc.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2294 size-full\" title=\"Awwww!\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis01.png\" alt=\"Awwww!\" width=\"496\" height=\"342\" data-wp-pid=\"2294\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis01.png 496w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis01-300x207.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 496px) 100vw, 496px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>However, all is not rosy for Monty. He begins getting distracted by human couples, and how happy they are<sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/#fn-2293-3' id='fnref-2293-3' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2293)'>3<\/a><\/sup>, and the kid astutely picks up on this.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2295\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 610px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2295 size-full\" title=\"AWWW!\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis02.png\" alt=\"AWWW!\" width=\"600\" height=\"293\" data-wp-pid=\"2295\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis02.png 600w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis02-300x147.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">To be fair, it might just be the wad of half-digested fish fingers in his stomach causing Monty that pained expression.<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Christmas day rolls around, and the kid hurries Monty downstairs to the Christmas tree, and points it to a present. Opening it up, the penguin finds that inside is a female penguin. The audience gives a collective &#8220;ahhh&#8221; of approval, and then we discover (via the equally approving gaze of the kid&#8217;s parents) that the penguins are actually a pair of cuddly toys the kid has imbued with the life of his imagination.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2296 size-full\" title=\"I didn't have the heart to put this in a visible caption, but I really hope this isn't some sort of weird sexual awakening for the kid.\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis03.png\" alt=\"AWW SO CUTE\" width=\"616\" height=\"325\" data-wp-pid=\"2296\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis03.png 616w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis03-300x158.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s genuinely one of the nicest things you could see on television all year, but it&#8217;s easy (and fun!) to be cynical so let&#8217;s just review it in brief:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I feel the ending rather ruins the advert. Sure, it&#8217;s a nice touch that the kid&#8217;s first penguin toy is all grey and scuffed from playing with it (and dragging it through the mud while playing football?) but the advert was cuter when the penguin was actually alive. You felt genuine empathy for the creature, and then that feeling gets kicked in the nuts when it turns out the kid was just <a title=\"The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that you can rip off their design and build a franchise around it.\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Calvin_and_Hobbes\" target=\"_blank\">Calvin and Hobbes<\/a>-ing the thing. I guess John Lewis copped out on not emails from angry adults being harassed by their kids to buy them a penguin?<\/li>\n<li>The moral of the story is: if your friend is feeling lonely buy him a mail order bride and\/or prostitute? She was even in a box, for crying out loud. At least give it some air holes.<\/li>\n<li>Since when did England ever have snow that luscious in winter? Never mind sledging, more like <a title=\"Charlie Booker is right about everything.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=68mkgir5fbw\" target=\"_blank\">dickheads skiing behind cars<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The ending could have had a neater twist than the toy angle, and I&#8217;d like to present it here. My alternative ending has humour, embraces other forms of love and generally stomps the real ending into paste on the pavement with its steel toecaps. Listen up kiddies, it&#8217;s story time.<\/p>\n<p>The way I see it, the advert plays out exactly the way it does normally, right up until the reveal of the lady penguin in the box. Rather than a look of surprised joy, Monty instead gives a confused look followed by a sigh. We cut back to all those longing gazes at couples, but each time the camera pans slightly to the left or right and reveals that the penguin was actually staring at male couples that were near the heterosexual couples each time.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2297\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 610px\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis04.png\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2297\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2297 size-full\" title=\"My search history now includes the phrase &quot;men making out&quot;. Joy!\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis04.png\" alt=\"Er...?\" width=\"600\" height=\"266\" data-wp-pid=\"2297\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis04.png 600w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis04-300x133.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">Something like that, yeah. Let&#8217;s give the homophobes and traditionalists something to scream about. Nothing goes viral as quickly as controversy!<\/div><\/div>\n<p>Mr. Penguin prefers the company of men! However, he just gives a happy little sigh and then gives his kiddy master a kiss on the cheek in appreciation, because <em>it&#8217;s the thought that counts<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Now that is the real meaning of Christmas<sup class='footnote'><a href='https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/#fn-2293-4' id='fnref-2293-4' onclick='return fdfootnote_show(2293)'>4<\/a><\/sup>.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2298\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 337px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2298 size-full\" title=\"Nope. Got nothing sarcastic to write here. It's too nice.\" src=\"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05.png\" alt=\"Ahhh.\" width=\"327\" height=\"353\" data-wp-pid=\"2298\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05.png 327w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05-278x300.png 278w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 327px) 100vw, 327px\" \/><div class=\"wp-caption-text\">Now those toys just have to live through the horrors of their kid growing up, just like in Toy Story!<\/div><\/div>\n<p><strong>Please note ladies and gentlemen that this is satire. <\/strong>The John Lewis advert is absolutely lovely and I commend them for such a nice sight on an otherwise filth encrusted television schedule. Did I go too far? Leave a comment below! You can login using Facebook or Twitter (or even Google+ if you are desperate).<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2014\/11\/08\/how-to-improve-the-john-lewis-christmas-2014-tv-advert\/\"><img width=\"125\" height=\"125\" src=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05-150x150.png\" class=\"alignright tfe wp-post-image\" alt=\"Ahhh.\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-content\/uploads\/JohnLewis05-300x300.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 125px) 100vw, 125px\" \/><\/a><p>So the British public is agog at the latest heart-warming bit of commercial advertising pumped out by John Lewis in a bid to win the war of sales via Christmas cuteness. Have you seen it? When I first watched this, my heart grew ten sizes that day. Or that might&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[353,219],"tags":[36,242,245,243,244],"class_list":["post-2293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christmas","category-vaguely-topical","tag-advertisements","tag-christmas","tag-john-lewis","tag-television","tag-tv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}