{"id":2897,"date":"2017-01-21T00:00:01","date_gmt":"2017-01-21T00:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/?p=2897"},"modified":"2017-01-18T00:55:44","modified_gmt":"2017-01-18T00:55:44","slug":"the-hungry-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.payneful.co.uk\/blogsplosion\/2017\/01\/21\/the-hungry-games\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hungry Games"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s a chap called Brant Steele who made a Hunger Games simulator1<\/a><\/sup>. You can play it at http:\/\/brantsteele.net\/hungergames<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I’ve seen a fair few runs of the simulator crop up on Tumblr (the one with Sonic the Hedgehog characters comes to mind) and I fancied a crack at it myself. I picked a random collection of my favourite characters from across my lifetime – from when I was a wee tot up to now where I’m an oversized manchild.<\/p>\n

Who will live? Who will die? Who gets the prize? Is there a prize? Let’s find out!<\/p>\n

The Teams<\/h2>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

District 1: Young Childhood<\/strong><\/p>\n

District 1 comprises of two franchises I adored as a wee kiddywink; Postman Pat and Thomas the Tank Engine. While Thomas the train has brute strength and can easily crush opponents, he has the disadvantage of being stuck on rails. Pat is a badass as Greendale would be up shit creek without a paddle if he ever left the town.<\/p>\n

District 2: Childhood<\/strong><\/p>\n

Representing my childhood fascination with British comics and animation, Dennis the Menace and Wallace step up to the plate. Dennis is going to have to carry his partner as Wallace is clearly a moron who doesn’t even realise that his dog does everything for him.<\/p>\n

District 3: Video Game Detectives<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’ve always loved mystery games or games that have you take on the role of a detective. Both detectives know their way around a gun – while Max is practically a one-man army who can tap into Bullet Time2<\/a><\/sup>, York is slightly psychic and has nightmarish visions that help him solve crimes. Quite how that latter ability is useful in a game of survival is yet to be seen.<\/p>\n

District 4: Batmen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Batman<\/a> is obviously on the roster, so to handicap the Dark Knight I’ve teamed him up with the “Bright Knight” himself, Adam West’s Batman from 1966! I love all versions of Batman but the 1966 holds a special place in my heart as the satellite channel TCC used to show reruns of it all the time.<\/p>\n

District 5: Jim Carrey<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was of that age in the 90’s where all kids loved Jim Carrey films. Ace Ventura is probably in my top 10 all-time favourite films. While I don’t like the film version of the Mask all that much, I did go through a phase of collecting the figures around the time the cartoon series was on. The Mask could potentially have an advantage being a “living cartoon”, but Ace is not to be underestimated!<\/p>\n

District 6: Film Detectives<\/strong><\/p>\n

Continuing the detective theme, I’ve gained a fascination for Philip Marlowe within the last ten years. The sarcastic hard-boiled P.I. with a heart of gold (and ethics of steel) ranks highly for me and his stories are timeless. Unfortunately for Marlowe I’ve saddled him with the least competent detective of all time, (Chief) Inspector Clouseau of the Pink Panther<\/em> films! That being said, Clouseau seems to create his own luck as bad things happen to people around him, which might prove useful!<\/p>\n

District 7: Disney<\/strong><\/p>\n

A tenuous link admittedly, but (Captain) Jack Sparrow and Woody are probably amongst my favourite Disney characters. The charming rogue and the stressed little wooden toy are an odd combination, but they deserve a place here in this tournament of champions as I have always loved their films to bits.<\/p>\n

District 8: PSX Super Spies<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember a “golden age” on the Sony PlayStation. It’s probably nostalgia but there was an influx of stealth games around 1999. Metal Gear Solid<\/em><\/a> is obviously the champion but I’d contest that, back in the day, Syphon Filter<\/em> was just as good a series if not slightly better! Gabe Logan has always been described as a “poor man’s Solid Snake” so I’ve teamed him up with Snake so he can prove his worth!<\/p>\n

District 9: The Gentlemen<\/strong><\/p>\n

A bit of an odd title for this team but it’s the one thing they have in common. Everyone knows who James Bond<\/a> is but Lupin III is a little more obscure. Created by manga artist Monkey Punch a few decades back as a tribute to Bond, Lupin is the great grandson of gentleman thief Arsene Lupin3<\/a><\/sup> and is himself a gentleman thief. Both were franchises I began following during my teens.<\/p>\n

District 10: Discworld Detectives<\/strong><\/p>\n

For anyone who remotely knows anything about Discworld, Commander Sam Vimes (His Grace the Duke of Ankh) of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is masculinity incarnate. A quick thinker, a cynic but most of all a humanitarian, Vimes has survived everything the Disc has thrown at him. I genuinely consider him one of the strongest players on the field and can only wonder who would genuinely win in a fight between him and Batman4<\/a><\/sup>. Lewton’s only appearance is in the non-canonical video game Discworld Noir<\/a>, but it’s my all-time favourite video game so that’s why he’s netted a place on the team. Spoilers (highlight to see): Lewton gets turned into a werewolf during DWN, so I’m going under the assumption that Lewton is a werewolf during the tournament…which would give him an advantage!<\/span><\/p>\n

District 11: Will Smith<\/strong><\/p>\n

I know it seems in vogue to discredit Will Smith as being a 90’s icon who is increasingly irrelevant, but I was a child of the 90’s so he will always be cool to me. Agent J from classic film Men in Black makes it on to the roster and I’ve teamed him up with Federal Agent Jim West from the often-maligned Wild Wild West<\/em>…which is another film probably in my top 1o or 20 list. Look, I just like the steampunk aesthetic and think it’s a pretty cool film, okay?<\/p>\n

District 12: Sonic the Hedgehog<\/strong><\/p>\n

Around the time I was watching episodes of Dennis the Menace and the 1966 Batman series, Sonic had two TV shows and several excellent platform games on the Mega Drive. I was a SEGA fanboy and I still am, so this roster wouldn’t be complete without Sonic the Hedgehog and his little buddy Miles “Tails” Prower.<\/p>\n

Commence battle!<\/h2>\n

\"The<\/p>\n

“The bloodbath” rather anticlimactically featured no deaths, with all the characters running for cover (or, in Thomas’ case, speeding away wherever the track takes him).<\/p>\n

Analysis:<\/strong><\/p>\n