The Year in Blogs: 2013
2013 – the year I moved out of my parent’s house and didn’t write about James Bond (unlike last year). Here’s a round-up of what was on my mind throughout the annual rotation of the planet around the Sun.
Why Hitman: Absolution Isn’t Quite Right – 02/01
Having received the latest instalment of the Hitman franchise for Christmas, I immediately stick the boot in and complain about the fact it doesn’t play like all the old ones.
Spammers Say the Most Poetic Things – 24/01
Whereas most people who run a blog try to keep spam off of it, I create an entire post dedicated to showcasing the most hilarious Engrish and crap that people usually try to block. Some of it is genuinely poetic.
The Many Diabolical Machines of Dr. Robotnik – 25/02
Made nostalgic by a toy of Dr. Robotnik I bought, I go on a trip through memory lane looking at all the boss machines from the 16-bit Sonic the Hedgehog games. Notable for the absolute crap-tonne of animated .gifs I spent hours making for the post.
Batman: Arkham Origins Is Probably Going to Suck Balls (But I Hope Not) – 25/04
Paranoid by the fact that Warner Bros. is taking over handling their own game franchise rather than outsourcing it to a provably competent company (Rocksteady), I rant about how it’s going to be horrible (probably). For the record, it didn’t suck balls, but it didn’t quite meet the standards of the others. I’m not planning to write an entire article of retraction just to say that!
Retraction: I Managed to Be a Complete Bastard in Fallout: New Vegas – 19/05
Having played the downloadable add-ons for Fallout: New Vegas, I explain how Max Valerion managed to screw over everyone in the Mojave Wasteland and retain his title as complete bastard. A follow up to an article I wrote from 2012.
The Chick Talks… Feminism – 25/05
My other half explains gender stereotyping in films, and I come off looking a little bit sexist. Only a little bit, though.
Manchild at Play, a.k.a Stuff You Can Steal From My House When You Inevitably Break in After Reading This – 01/06
Winning the award for longest, most search engine unfriendly title in the history of blog posts, I show off exactly how much money I’ve wasted on Batman and Metal Gear Solid toys over the years.
They’re Coming to Take Our Pr0n Away! (Ho-Ho, Hee-Hee, Ha-Ha!) – 23/07
Prime Minister David Cameron decides that the country needs to stop touching itself (presumably because he’s more Ken doll than human, it’s just a smooth surface down there for him) and I have a rant because I feel oppressed (I have it so hard, you guys). Orwell’s 1984 didn’t mention the bit where ISPs filtered out all the pr0n.
Being Original Is Hard: Video Game Songs That Sound Suspiciously like Popular Music (And Vice Versa) – 10/08
I rattle off a whole bunch of obscure 16-bit tunes from the 90’s that my brain has always thought sounded like other music until I went to the lengths of actually comparing them.
Manchild at Play: Back to the Future LEGO – 15/08
I spend an entire evening putting together a DeLorean made of LEGO. One of the most joyous experiences a person can have, honest.
An Open Letter Regarding Batfleck – 25/08
Having completely overreacted to the Batman video game news (see several posts above, 25/04), I try and be rational about Ben Affleck playing Batman by writing a letter to Warner Bros. accusing them of being fascists and trying to start a war (it’s supposed to be a satire on the backlash against Batfleck, honest).
SPORE – Part 1: Birth of the One-Eyed Monster | Game for a Blog – 21/09
I play god once again by creating a protozoa with a fiendish appetite.
Manchild at Play: Arkham City Solomon Grundy – 28/09
Solomon Grundy gets delivered and I spend a post not believing quite how big the model is.
No Dogs Please, We’re Cat People – 20/10
An extended letter of apology to an adorable little dog whose only crime was to be a dog in a house of cat lovers.
The Pained Man | Creepypasta – 31/10
A Halloween special: a tale of one man home alone who receives an unexpected knock on the door late at night.
Manchild at Play: Jokermania – 01/12
I show off three figures of the Joker, each based on a version of the Joker from a different medium (one from the comics, one from classic TV and the other from video games).
Post by Sean Patrick Payne+ | January 1, 2014 at 12:00 pm | The Year in Blogs | No comment
Tags: bitching about video games, they're just toys!, yearly summary