PAYNEful - the site where humour goes to die, the repository of all things by Sean Patrick Payne
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The Hitman’s Tale – 0.00 Prologue

The Hitman

The smell of meat sizzling on a hot pan wafted out of the open doorway, an inviting smell for everyone but the man stood nearby harbouring a hangover. He leant over and stroked a tabby cat who had come over to investigate the smell in the hopes of scrounging up…

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February 11, 2014 at 6:00 pm | The Hitman's Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 3.02 Galmanoc

Strays

Doug had insisted that they leave the comfort of the hotel and go out into the world, despite his condition. He’d thrown on his clothes and went for his bionic arm only to find it unresponsive. Throwing it into a duffel bag he’d found in the cupboard of the bedroom…

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January 29, 2014 at 7:39 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 3.01 Doug Wakes Up

“Where we are now, what we are about to embark on… everything, every decision and action, is critical in making sure that we take the risks that we are about to take.” Darkness. Doug was aware of the warm familiar darkness of sleep, the mask of skin over his eyeballs….

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December 29, 2013 at 8:31 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 2.13 Escape from Abaddon

The pilot had returned with Jenkins the Binder, but he wasn’t in any state to bind. Someone had shot him through both palms, and the pilot had tied his sash around Jenkins’ hands to help stop the bleeding. “It was that b-bitch you sent us after, with the guy in…

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November 17, 2013 at 12:00 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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The Mercenaries’ Tale – 2.12 Airship Inferno

Gratin hadn’t remained in freefall for long. He began to fly, soaring upwards to find his way back onto the ship. He didn’t make it, Abaddon dropping out of the hole to meet him halfway, raining death from above with fire lances. Gratin took evasive action, dodging in mid-air in…

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November 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm | The Mercenaries' Tale | No comment

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